Honoring the SHE who wants to be

My last card of the week...this week dedicated to self care in preparation for planning my next step...is "Honoring the SHE who wants to be."

As I dive into the week of self care and self honoring, I feel this sense of who I want to be starting to take form. At first it is a shadowy image, not yet in full focus.

If you look down in the right hand corner, you can see a smaller image. In my mind this is the tuning and adjusting I am doing during my self care phase.

Much like the color on my TV, or the volume, or the contrast keys on my computer screen...but deeper in my soul.

Now that I've named what aspects of myself I want to turn up, turn down or, as I'm finding this week, turn off, I am ready to take baby steps toward my vision.

I call this the shadowy phase of transforming our desires by reprogramming how we live our Self. We watch so many images before us. We project ourselves into characters on TV, in the movies and on stage. Taking time for self care is about reclaiming our self and projecting our fullest self into our life.

It's oh so easy to think we can be who we've always been and get a different result. But the truth is, the world doesn't change until we do.

So...what 'baby' steps will you take this week?
What 'grown-up' steps will you commit to this week?

As you do, take a moment to acknowledge the step.
Notice what happened when you did.
Breathe it in.
And be ready - some can be kind of 'scary' at first.
Others are stunningly thrilling.

Welcome to the most powerful ride of your life!

Next...the plan.

The importance of anger in self care

"Huh?"...you might ask. "What does anger have to do with self care? Isn't self care about feeling good?"

Absolutely. And to get there, you might need to begin with a fearless self inventory of the hidden and unhidden anger.

Here's why: If we don't own our anger, it will seep out and lash out in ways that will infect our desire to connect with compassion, wonder and self truth.

To truly do what you love in ways that honor you, it is important that you recognize that which is no longer serving you and the things that get you angry. When you hold anger, you are holding on to that which will keep you guarded. When you hide behind anger, you avoid owning what you want and who you really are.

As you step out to create the life, career, work or relationship you really want, it's vital to recognize where you are holding anger and own your own complicity in it. Odd, but anger can be such a dazzling friend for those who want to live the lie of blame.

This weekend during my retreat, I took some time to notice the things that I am angry about. Not just the global, political issues - more the personal, interpersonal and professional laundry lists of subtle and loud anger. Hmmmm. It is quite eye opening.

Then I asked, "which are keeping you safe in your womb of guarded protection?"

As I created my list, I found myself creating a new contract for myself. As I began to write it down...and yes, I do recommend writing it...I made a list of 10 things that are vital for me to thrive.

When I honor these I find myself loving my life and my work:

• Reach out in a personal, meaningful way.
• Work with people who can hold fear and fun simultaneously.
• Having multiple projects at the same time to balance creativity and structure, individuals and groups, business development & personal growth..
• Work and partner with people who can laugh at themselves.
• Take time each week to reflect on an unexpected harmonious moment.
• Bring diverse people together for a common purpose.
  

And now, it's your turn.

Whether you are recrafting your life, job hunting or business building, this can change the way you connect in the world.

1. Name what you are angry about in your personal, professional and relational life.
2. Be honest, and list the ones you are hiding behind to keep from being exposed.
3. Which are you ready to let go of?
4. What do you most enjoy that will help you thrive?
5. Create a contract for yourself.
   

With love!

Letting life float with ease

With the theme of self care this week, I chose this card because of its lightness and ease.

When I created this card, I thought of the wings of the feminine. The simple, gentle grace of life when the weight is lifted.

This week as I rest my mind and allow my spirit to simply 'be,' I find such a desire to just lay back into the breeze of life and float on the wind.

Having this time on retreat has made me realize just how much my spirit needed a slight space to rest, sleep, steep and float.

Ah...I'm realizing how essential float time is for me. Without it, my heart and head feel constricted and the demands of everyday living weigh heavily on my spirit.

As I breathe into this image, my shoulders relax, my mind settles, and I can deepen my trust in allowing what will come, as it should.

What happens for you when you let go of the stresses and strains?
Where would you like to give yourself the luxury of a nice 'floating' moment?
How might your life expand if you did?

Letting nature tell me

This week's theme is self care.

In this time of colossal transformation, I feel called to step up my work and to work with people who are ready to step up theirs. I am drawn to work with people who are up to the challenge of creating their life passion.

Last week, I talked about the importance of taking time to vision. This week, as I soak in my vision and retune my focus, I find it essential to take some serious time for SELF CARE.

If I don't align my self care with my vision, I get overwhelmed with the scope of what I aim to create. Self care gives me a chance to lean back into me and be in my body...gently, compassionately and purposefully.

This week as I lay back into my retreat I am surrounded by nature.
My room is situated so that it feels like I am in a tree fort.
Ah...the kid in me loves it.

As I lay on the floor, lean back into the couch and listen to the gentle crackle of the fire...yes, here in these shaded woods a fire is necessary at night...

I am asking myself:
~ what is working in my life?
~ what's not?
~ what do I want to keep?
~ what is holding me back?
~ where are the drains and strains?
~ what gives me joy?

Self care provides an important opportunity to reflect on this before I start to formulate my plan. When my plan emerges from what most honors me and my vision, it is easier to create and my chance of following it increases exponentially.

What questions does your body and soul yearn for you to ask?

And how might those impact the relationships you build, the jobs you seek or how you build your business?

Vision from the heart is the best vision of all!

There are a number of schools of thought about visioning and creating what you want. One is that you go out in the world, see what's missing and create that thing. It's often called a market analysis approach.

My approach is quite different. I say, begin with what you're passionate about. What inspires you? What enrages you (that you are compelled to do something about)? What do you find yourself doing -- just because you must!?

That is the terrain of a true vision of the heart.

Since I was a teenager, I have loved creating things out of seemingly random objects. In college, I loved improvisational theater. I often had no real story line when I began, just a question or a nagging thought. I'd probe and question. I'd create scenes with a challenge and ask the actors to find a resolution. Then I'd take all these stories and weave them into a new fabric...creating a play that flushed out the nagging thought that began my quest.

Creating something from seemingly nothing was so natural, so easy...and so rewarding.

The challenge was that I didn't have many mentors who would help me create a strong foundation for my vision. Most of the people in my life at that time were successful BECAUSE THEY FOLLOWED DIRECTIONS,  NOT BECAUSE THEY MADE THINGS UP!

I was lucky, though. For some reason, my passion outweighed the constrictions of other people's expectations. Now, my business is all about creating visions, connecting people and finding new ways of offering yourself in the world.

This form of visioning from the heart and doing what you love is quite fulfilling --- yet, being a visionary has its price. People often don't have a clue how to relate to your vision. Sometimes people can even be quite dismissive. Why? They simply can't see it. They don't have your vision.

Once you learn how to navigate the bumps and slumps, it can be the most rewarding work you'll ever do!

For those of you who are living your vision...congratulations! Now let's make it possible for others to do the same! For those of you who are ready, and willing, to step forward with your vision, you are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime!

For anyone wanting to begin or enhance your VISION FROM THE HEART, here are a few ways to find it. I'd love to hear the ways that you have uncovered your vision.

Here are a few places to 'look.'

• Go back to your childhood. What did your parents have to peel you away from doing?
• What do you dream about?
• What do you get angry about?
• What do you read about or talk about?
• What part of your job do you like (it might be a tiny, tiny piece)?
• Who are you envious of? (What are they daring to do, that you wish you could do?)
• What are some of the most 'alive' moments from your life?

Happy Heart Visioning!

Structure or Constriction?

The process of sharing these cards with others has been fascinating.

For some reason, this card really provokes an emotional response.

Some people say it simply reflects their need to give a very specific look to their vision. For others, the image brings up a powerful feeling of being constricted.

When I first shared these cards with a group, I invited people to choose two cards --- one that reflected something inspiring in their life and another that reflected a challenge.

When the woman who picked this card shared her challenge, you could feel the tension in her voice. She said, "This card reminds me of how often people try to put me in a box. It feels so constricting."

As she spoke, she realized she was letting others define her and how she ought to 'be.' She was quiet for a moment, then said "Hmm." And then she was quiet. "Maybe these could mean that I create my vision and then invite people to experience it for themselves. Hmmm. (Pause.) And, as I think about it, wow, that could really change how I see my work. I don't have to try to be like people think I should be. Hmm. (Pause.) Now looking at this, I can see how it could provide a structure for me to show people what I do...wow."

What does this card represent for you?
How does it help, or hinder, your visioning process?

How clear is your vision?

The theme for this week is vision.

In this time, when everything is in a state of flux and confusion, the clearer you can be with your vision...for yourself...the easier it will be to adapt it to the needs of others.

This card is one of the first I created. In many ways it gave me the foundation of what this deck is all about --- giving focus to that which wants to come to life.

As I created this card, I did it much the same way I create just about everything in my life. I have a vague 'feeling' of what I want, but not a crystal clear vision. It's curious --- as visual as I am, my vision must be teased out of many competing ideas.

If I try to name my vision all at once it never seems to work. But, if I think of it in terms of 'snippets' or 'picture frames,' then I can link those pictures to make a bigger vision.

How do you find your vision?

Each of us comes at it from very different ways. What's so important is that you begin to find your unique way, and then use it...again and again.

Here are a few ways I do it:

1. Take a stack of index cards and on each one write a different vision. As you write one, turn it over. Then add another. Don't look at them. Once you've done 20 or so, take a break. Put them aside. Then, after you've taken a break, lay them out in front of you. Notice which ones pop out at you. Notice the ones that excite you or make you nervous. And, most importantly, see what the common themes are.
2. Or...each day for two weeks, write your vision in a journal. Again, don't read the entry. Just write. Then after two weeks, take time to review the visions.

I'd love to hear:
What challenges you in creating your vision?
What do you enjoy about creating a vision?
What do you find most helpful in naming your vision?

Bringing it to life is a whole other story!

Strength Revealed

What is hiding behind the curtain?
Or ..
What is waiting to be revealed?

For me, this card evokes a sense of quiet strength -- a dependable certainty that just is. What I love about the power of story is that as you begin to explore the depth of who you really are, beyond your hopes and fears, it is quite astounding what happens. You begin to know yourself in ways you hadn't before.

"Odd", you might say. "How can we not know ourselves?"

And yet, so often we don't.

As you begin to trust yourself, to know yourself, and to really own all of it...the beauty, the fun, the shadow and the fear...you begin to navigate life from a place of clarity and strength. It doesn't always make life easier, but it will make your relationship with life more fluid, more honest. And in this honesty, you engage the part of you that is most true.

Take a moment, and just let your body breathe. Take a breath, even if only for a second, into a part of you that just 'is'. Then breathe into a place that is tight and guarded. Notice the difference?

Strength Revealed
is about trusting
more of yourself
so you have to guard less.

The story! Which Story?

Ah.... Yes...
the big question.

What story are you living?

or, perhaps, whose story are you living?

This is the part of coaching that is so exciting for me. When people first come with the desire to create a new business or find a new career, they often think it is about a resume or a business plan.

Yes, those are important. But what's most important --- is the story you are telling yourself about who you are, and your 'right' or ability to be what/who you want to be.

We can get so tripped up trying to be what we
think others want us to be. Pretty soon we've sunk deep in the shadows of life, not being anyone who resembles what we truly are.

This soul card project evolved out of my desire to create snapshot moments that reflects my life, my dreams and my shadowy uncertainty.

What stops me?
What inspires me?
How am I feeling right now?

This weekend, on Mother's Day, I found myself creating these really soft, gentle images. (They will be posted next week or so, when they are finished.) As I did I started to see my own sorrows and joys of what motherhood meant come to the surface.

This image is far more shadowy. For me, it asks me to own that which I dare not speak. It asks me to let my story be greater than my fears. It asks me to see the foreground of my life while honoring the pathway of my past.

What story are you ready to own?
What story are you ready to let go of?

Journaling is great way to let your stories reveal themselves. Some journal for hours. Others a few minutes a day. What's most helpful is to not censor yourself ... just let your story tell itself, whatever it might be.

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Life's Seduction

Welcome to my newest project
--- my soul card deck of 52 cards to get deeper insight and clarity about our life, our dreams and our confusions.

Currently I have about 30 in different stages. As I considered which card to choose first, 'she' called me the most.

Her name, today ... 'Life's Seduction'.
A bit mysterious and yet enticing,
she always catches my attention, beckons me, sometimes in a teasing, coy fashion.

I don't always understand what she is beckoning me to do. Often I can't even really see 'it'. But I can feel her, Inviting me in suggestively offering a tempting delight!

As an ardent creator who lives and breathes to create, my challenge is to ask myself:

Is this temptation a distraction?
or is she beckoning me to honor a passion that yearns to be created?
What impact will it have on my personal life?
What will have have to let go of to do 'this' (whatever this is)?

As a consummate creator who thrives on transforming the un-seeable into vision, it is essential that I recognize the seduction while remembering my bigger purpose. Sometimes it is fun to tumble into play and allow the fantasy to pull me in. Other times, it can be an escape from something far more important. It can be quite beguiling at times!

What does this card represent for you?

Please, do share...

This deck has been a wonderful journey for me to explore my own desires. As I begin to ask others how it reflects both their desires and confusions, I am touched and inspired by the responses I get.

Some of you may prefer to email me personally. That is great. And, I'd love to allow a forum for others to see and hear what these cards inspire for you.

Enjoy